In Touch

Sometimes there is so much coming at me, it is hard to stay in touch with myself and how it makes feel. I've been juggling, what seems, an inordinate amount of personal dilemmas for the past 3 months and in that same time the world has seemed to have exploded. From the shooting of Giffords, Wisconsin's labor protest to Tunisia, Egypt, Libya and Japan's tsunami and nuclear meltdown. And the earth actually slowing down! The world is on fire.

I am not even sure what I want to say about this right now, I am wound up tight...the event of this last weekend and the ex have shaken me...there are things one doesn't want to admit...the fear. Being afraid. Being alone in all of this chaos. This is not how I planned it. We were supposed to be the ones that our friends leaned on. Our home was to be the safe haven for us all to escape to, and now it's...the center of our fight. I can't stand fighting with him anymore. I want this out of my life. And now the house...all of this is making me feel so torn when I am there. It was ours. We built it together. With love. I thought it was love...it was from me. I always wanted him to be part of it and in my life but he made his choice. I'm tired. I'm sad. I'm tired of being sad. I'm angry. And of this is the least of my worries right now. Not even I like this post.